Air travel is exhausting these days. More often than not you're subject to flight delays, cancellations and detours leading to the awkward sprint-lurch through the airport dragging heavy bags behind you, spilling sticky Starbucks drinks on your suit, sweating like a pro wrestler, and praying you'll make your connecting flight - which without fail is taking off from the far opposite terminal.
I recently returned from THAT trip. Exhausted, consumed with pain (ref don't be a pain) - and yet the lucky recipient of a most unexpected revelation.
On one connecting leg, we experienced some routine turbulence. Nothing dramatic, but it got me thinking: "what if my number was up, and I was on a flight that actually DID go down - what would my last thoughts be if I knew I only had 3 minutes left to live?"
Well, before I had time to think about it consciously, the answer hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. So clearly, with stunning certainty, in an instant:
"THANK YOU. Thank you God for all the love I have had in my life. Thank you for the exquisite joy of raising children, and for the love we share even now that they're grown. Thank you for the love of my wonderful Mike, for his pure goodness and loyal friendship, and the way he loves me. Thank you for all the beauty I have seen, and heard, and for all the good people I've known. Thank you for your guidance; for helping me to be better than I really am. My life on this earth could not possibly have been more lovely. Thank you for giving me this little glimpse of heaven here on earth"
I was completely consumed with a singular sensation of gratitude. How impossibly blessed I am, that THAT is the thing that would fill my heart and mind in those last
precious moments, rather than regret or sadness or fear. It took me totally by surprise - almost like jumping into the Pacific ocean and gasping from the shock of the cold. I blinked my eyes and realized my cheeks were wet with tears. When I'd recovered my senses, I realized what a gift this was. Permission of a sort to leave worldly stresses behind and bask in the knowledge that all would be well. I had already experienced the best this life has to offer. Everything else is just icing, to be savored for as long as I'm here.
Don't get me wrong, I plan to stay around for a good long time. Long enough to see my grandchildren get married and take their own first steps toward discovery of heaven on earth. But whenever my time does come I'll be ready. Ready to look back with joy and gratitude. Ready to leave with peace on my heart, carrying with me every bit of the love I've been so privileged to receive in life.