Work Stuff

Last week I left Cisco after 14 wonderful years. Unfortunately my unit was dissolved under the latest re-org / layoff round, so it's time to turn the page and begin a new chapter.

I often tell people "I'm the luckiest woman I know", and I can still claim that distinction. For some reason, God has smiled on my career path and it's been such a great joy learning and growing in new and unexpected ways.

My "real" career began in the production business in Southern California at a charming, quirky, one-of-a-kind place that did everything from staging, to commercials, to "industrial theater" and more. During that time I was the coolest Mom around! My young children got to come to the studio and see confetti cannons, cool state-of-the-art AVID edit bays (no jokes about my age, please!) and meet the most interesting cast of characters you can imagine. I got to do everything: hire talent, pitch creative ideas, organize equipment, manage crew packets and more; but the most valuable thing I honed during that time were my sales skills. During my time there I was also presented with a couple very challenging ethical dilemmas, which cemented my work values forever. Twice while there, I made very difficult "right decisions" that would come back to bless me years later, reinforcing that whatever the personal cost at the time, the right thing is always the right thing.

From that unconventional beginning I found my way into corporate life and loved it from day one. I understand all the issues of working for a large organization. The bureaucracy, getting lost in the shuffle, the politics - all of that can be challenging. But from the get-go I was dazzled by the complexity of it all. There were unending dots to connect, and opportunities to solve puzzles through creative reasoning and personal relationships. Connecting people, processes and tools became my jam, so corporate life was this kid's candy store! While there I was privileged to be part of Epson's ink re-branding campaign. I know, it sounds dry and boring but I found it fun, fascinating and SO MUCH FUN! If we're ever having coffee ask me about it :-)

That said, I did take a detour after relocating to North Carolina to work for a tech startup for a few years, and couldn't have enjoyed the experience more. I got to experience the beginnings of mobile digital video for police cars and other public vehicles. What a fascinating journey! Being a venture-backed, small company I got to wear every conceivable hat: marketing and communications, PR, advertising, channel support, events, sales enablement, and more. I loved the work, the people, and the adrenaline rush of being part of that company's meteoric rise as one of the fastest growing tech companies in the region.

The end of that great adventure marked the start of my Cisco career, which began as a consultant and evolved into a fulltime role. I was so fortunate to be there during the John Chambers days. What a joy and a privilege working for someone so clearly invested and in love with that business! I still smile, thinking of John bouncing around the stage at company meetings like a little kid on Christmas morning - full of excitement and positive energy which was part of Cisco's DNA. After 14 years there, and across multiple roles and growing levels of responsibility, I can honestly say I could count on one hand the number of people who weren't absolutely wonderful to work with. Professional, curious, brilliant, collaborative, kind people I was - and still am - so fortunate to have met.

With a history like that, who am I to doubt that the next chapter will be every bit as thrilling? Perhaps in 10 years I'll come back and update this post with another paragraph. Can't wait to see how the journey continues :-)

You Get What You Pet!

There's a fundamental principle in dog training: "You Get What You Pet." We have a giant, sweet, lumbering Mastiff mix who is not known for his subtlety. Whenever my husband comes over to chat or hug me, Londo magically appears from wherever in the house he was napping and noses his way (literally!) into the conversation. Without conscious thought I reach down to pet his handsome face and tell him what a sweet boy he is. Obviously, I am reinforcing his poor manners but I just can't resist his huge brown eyes and soft smile!

It occurs to me that "You get what you pet" goes for life as well as dog training. There's a brilliant admonition in the Bible, "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also," reminding us to be cognizant of what it is we value and where we spend our time. Long ago I began asking myself when stressed about something, "Will this matter on my last day?" If something won't matter a month or a week from now, it only deserves a small amount of stress. If something will matter a year or more from now it gets a bit more; and the things that matter for a lifetime deserve the most serious time and attention.

Applying this criterion reminds me to keep the right things in perspective. That project at work that keeps me up at night and popping Tums during the day - more often than not it won't matter even a month from now. On the other hand, time spent reading to my children, laughing with them or helping them with homework could impact how they raise their children and what sort of lives they will enjoy. It not only matters, it can actually reverberate for generations!

Unfortunately the things that do matter are often the first things we push aside in favor of the things that don't. "Honey I can't help with your homework because I have a deadline" deserves a sober second thought. Naturally, there's a balance that needs to be struck and there are times work has to come first. But for my part it's been helpful remembering that I'll get what I pet - so it behooves me to give attention to the things I want to grow and perpetuate. No doubt Londo would agree :-)

 

 

 

Happiness as a Super Power

Happiness as a Super Power

Some people are born with extraordinary beauty, a mind for numbers, musical talent, or athletic prowess. When cultivated and nurtured they can become super powers.

While I am not particularly beautiful, have zero athletic talent, and make babies cry when I try to sing - I too have a super power: I was born with the cheerful gene.

Over the years I have cultivated and nurtured this gift. I've given a great deal of thought to what happiness means and how people acquire it. I can't say I have cracked the code, but in answer to those who ask why I'm "always in a good mood" (even when I'm not!) here are 3 simple things that have worked for me:

1. Walk around feeling grateful

It is very difficult to be bitter or irritable or sad when you walk around feeling incredibly lucky. Grandma's advice to "Count your blessings" was no joke, and didn't only apply when things were going your way. In fact blessings are often most obvious during the tough times. For example:

Imagine I'm laid up with the flu. Counting my blessings is not what comes to mind as I lay in bed with a 102 degree fever! But if I did stop to think about it, those blessings would be too many to count. Things like: 

• I have paid time off and don't have to worry about my job
• I have a great support system at home
• I have access to antibiotics and other medicines I need to get better and feel more comfortable
• I don't have to worry about access to clean water, healthy food, and a warm bed
• I have indoor plumbing and a clean environment in which to recover
• If things get really bad I have access to a hospital, and arguably the finest health care available in human history

And so on. These may seem obvious or silly, but trust me they are not things to be taken for granted. I did nothing to deserve them. Millions of other people (many far more deserving than I) do not have them. I'm just plain lucky, and I know it. The "knowing it" is called gratitude. So even in the midst of a terrible flu I am keenly aware of my blessings. I may still feel feverish or nauseous or achy, but I certainly won't feel bitter or depressed.

2. Compare yourself to those LESS fortunate

Human nature relentlessly directs our attention to those more fortunate, more gifted and more successful, while blinding us to those who are less fortunate, less gifted or less successful. 

This brings to mind a conversation I had with my son Kevin when he was around 9. We lived in California close to Disneyland but we couldn't afford to go very often. One night he seemed uncharacteristically sad, and when I asked what was troubling him he said, "I wish I was Bryan. He gets to go to Disneyland all the time." After assuring him that it's ok to want things we don't have, I asked him a question: "Do you think that somewhere out there there's a little boy talking to his mom, and saying "I wish I was Kevin. He has two parents at home who love him"? Or, "I wish I was Kevin, he never has to feel hungry"? Or, "I wish I was Kevin, he has so many friends at school"? I asked him what he thought that other boy might be saying about him, and for the next few minutes he listed off all the ways HE might be seen as the lucky one. Kevin went to bed that night feeling very lucky indeed - and a good deal happier than before.

3. Consider happiness your moral obligation

I wish I could claim this one because it's the best of all! In truth, I discovered it reading Dennis Prager's Happiness is a Serious Problem. In the book Mr. Prager claims that happiness is a moral obligation. Like most people hearing this for the first time I bristled, thinking it unfair and insensitive. After all, not everyone was born with the cheerful gene. And we all go through serious things in life that (seem to) preclude a state of happiness. Mr. Prager's direction to "act happy" even when you don't feel it offended my modern bias toward authenticity and self-acceptance.  

But like many transformative ideas, this one deserved a second look through a more open mind. I evaluated it by comparing happiness to other obligations we honor every day, for example:

• Taking care of our children
  
• Obeying municipal laws
• Keeping promises
• Treating animals with kindness
  

Importantly, we are free to break these obligations if we choose. There are times we don't feel like tending to a sick child or helping a friend move. A sense of moral obligation is often what compels us to override our feelings and do them anyway. When we encounter someone who regularly defers to her feelings instead, we don't admire her authenticity and level of self-actualization! Rather, we consider her thoughtless, irresponsible, untrustworthy, or rude.

Some will say, "happiness is different because your mood is not a conscious choice." To them I'd pose this challenge. Think of a time when you were at your absolute worst: seething mad, depressed, despondent, resentful, etc. Now, your neighbor rings the doorbell. Before you answer, a genie appears and says "I will pay you one Billion dollars to smile and act cheerful to this person." Could you do it? If your answer is "yes", you actually can control how you act toward others, regardless of how you feel inside!

In this context it makes sense to consider "acting happy" a moral obligation for the benefit of those around us, just as we honor other obligations to contribute to the sort of society (or household) we want our children to inherit. To be clear: I am not saying we shouldn't share our true selves with friends and family. What I am suggesting is that we remain keenly aware of the impact our behavior has on those around us. We have the power to uplift or tear down. The power to create light or cast shadows, so it's appropriate to use that power wisely and not simply obey our own emotional impulses. (For another example of freedom from our emotions read Sex and Conversation)

In summary:

I hope this answers your questions about why I'm always (seemingly) in a good mood. I would have loved to have been born with a face like Angelina Jolie's or a voice like Whitney Houston's, but I'm happy with the cards I was dealt, because - well - being happy is what I do best! 😊