Running Out of Esteem

There are very few absolutes when it comes to children. But having had three of them I can say with some authority that there are a few universal truths, and that these are among them:

A. Junior High and High School can be a very tough time.
B. Self esteem is a huge issue as evidenced by recent, tragic tales of teen suicide which many schools around the country have attributed to bullying.
C. Teens - particularly girl teens - are painfully sensitive about their weight.

Would it be fair to say that someone who publicly calls a young teen "obese" could be characterized as among the cruelest of bullies? It would be hard for an honest person to disagree.

How is it then that public schools around the country can get away with doing just that? Weighing and measuring children, then sending home a "fat note" if Susie is a little too round for the State's liking?

And wait a minute . . . aren't these the very same schools that ban soccer scoring, lest the losing - (shhh) team suffer damage to their self esteem? Come to think of it, these are also the schools that have multiple valedictorians because, well, we wouldn't want anyone to feel left out, would we?

Is anyone else having a hard time reconciling the actual policies of the Left with their oft-billed traits of compassion, tolerance and kindness? I'm not seeing much compassion for people who are chubby; or tolerance for Christians who want to post scriptures in their offices; or kindness toward people who choose to smoke. In reality the far Left has become the party of force, intolerance and cruelty aimed at anyone who doesn't' embrace their dogma.

Either they care about children's self esteem, or they don't. All I know is, there's not much I can think of that would crush a child's self image more effectively than labeling them fat. Looks an awful lot like just another government policy that's sold as "For the good of the children". Huh. Where have we heard that line before? . . .

Imagine what the world would be like if society spent as much time teaching children to be good as they do teaching them to be recycling, vegetarian, Prius-driving, globally-aware, religiously neutral, politically acceptable Citizens of the State.

Whether you're Left, or Right, or Tea-bag Middle; let's all just agree to be a bit kinder and gentler with each other. Especially our children. And let us never forget that it's good children, not skinny ones, who are our best hope for the future.

The Christian and The Straw Man

Someone engaged me in a dialogue this week that I thought was worth sharing. This person is a thoughtful, kind woman who was talking about how we as Christians are in constant battle against our own "dark urges", which range from simple every-day things like jealousy or laziness, to more insidious urges like gambling or adultery. In fact, it was her point that everyone has them, and that being a Christian meant a lifetime of daily battle with those "less holy" aspects of our natures.

She was pondering the question of "Is homosexuality wrong?" She clearly had no bias against gay people and in fact ended her thoughts with, “In the Bible, it's wrong ... however I know so many nice, good people who are gay."

It was the “however” that rang my logic-alarm.

Of course there are many nice, “good” people who are gay. There are also horrible people who are gay. Their sexual orientation has nothing whatsoever to do with how good or nice they are! To say, “I know many perfectly wonderful people who are gay" is nice to know, but utterly irrelevant. That gay people are awful human beings was never the claim! It’s a classic straw man fallacy. One may as well say, “I know plenty of gay people who wear a size 8 shoe.”

So what is the “real” question, and how does the thoughtful Christian answer it? The real question is: "Is homosexuality one of many dark human urges that Christianity insists we battle, or is it simply one of many human traits – like hair color or height – that have no inherent moral value?"

The honest answer of a secularist might be, “Homosexuality is not a dark urge. It is just the way some people were born. We don't blame people for being tall or short or fat or thin, why should we hold someone accountable for being gay?"

I might then agree or disagree with that person, but at least they would be responding intelligently to the argument at hand, rather than knocking over a cheap straw man.

Another common misnomer is that because something is “natural”, or because you’re “born that way”, it is inherently good. There are many things we’re born with that we are called upon to battle every day in the name of decency. It could be an aggressive nature. Or crippling shyness. Or a speech impediment. Or a propensity toward alcoholism. We are certainly not encouraged to celebrate these things just because we were born that way!  Whether homosexuality falls into this category we honestly don't know, but it's not valid to assume that because a trait is natural it is to be celebrated.

It's very likely that the Christian and the Secularist will never come together on this particular issue. But my hope is that as we continue to discuss and debate these difficult issues we do so with deference and respect.

Sadly many people prefer the straw man because it enables them to engage in ad hominem attacks; “Christians are intolerant”, or “You just hate gay people”, or "You're a bigot" - like a petulant child the offender shouts out insults, shuts down the discussion and walks away fraudulently claiming victory.

I guess in the end we all just have to demonstrate the courage of our convictions while maintaining respect for peacefully opposing viewpoints. It is, after all,  the Christian thing to do.

A Soldier’s Profile

I post this story every year for Memorial and Veterans Day, in honor of my wonderful son Kevin. I am happy to report that he is home now for good and is pursuing a successful civilian career. This was written in 2006 while Kevin was fighting in Ramadi, at the height of the conflict there. A prominent politician at the time had made a derogatory remark about the type of person who joins the military. I wrote this not only to speak for Kevin, but in honor of the men and women who never came home like he did, so full of the promise of a life yet lived.

It’s hard being the mother of a soldier. There are all the obvious reasons: you never know whether your child is safe; and if he is, for how long. You worry about how the stress and trauma will affect this marvelous person you kissed goodbye at the airport, and if he’ll ever be the same. Most of all, you worry about whether he’ll remember how much you love him.

But by far, the hardest thing is hearing casual stereotypes being thrown around about what kind of people our soldiers are. Most often they are subtle, passing remarks which reveal an attitude or impression about the men and women in uniform. If you will forgive the source and look past the “pedestal syndrome” so inevitable when a mother talks about her son, I would like to tell you a little bit about my son Kevin in the hopes that you come away with a more thoughtful impression of exactly who the American Soldier is.

Kevin has always been an extraordinary person. When he was four he cried himself to sleep because his baby sister had had her vaccinations that day, and it so bothered him to see her in pain that he begged me through his tears to let him take them for her next time. Throughout his life, nothing bothered Kevin more than seeing people mistreated, whether it was the handicapped kid on the playground or the victim of a crime. His childhood was very typical, and I’d like to think happy. He was active in sports and had a very full social life – sometimes a bit too full! The first day of Junior High School Kevin declared, “By the end of the year, I’m going to know every single student’s name.” I’m not sure if his goal was ever reached, but Kev would think nothing of walking up to someone he didn’t know, stretching out his hand, and introducing himself.

In high school, Kevin was very active in sports and music. Around his sophomore year, he had to make a choice between the two because it became impossible to commit to both. It was a difficult decision because he so loved sports. But ultimately he chose music, thinking it would be something he could enjoy well into adulthood. He went on to earn a prestigious spot with the Pacific Symphony Youth Orchestra in California and played with them for a season or two. The highlight of his musical “career” was placement with the 2000 Olympic Band, which performed during the opening ceremonies at the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney, Australia. Kevin told us that performing for 100,000 people live was an unbelievable experience, but that most of all he enjoyed staying with his host family and learning about the people and culture of Australia (years later Kevin would return as a professional skydiver, his love of 'down under' had made such an impression).

Like every High School Junior, Kevin began to seriously contemplate what he was going to do with his future. One of Kevin’s biggest strengths – and most maddening challenges – was that he was passionately interested in so many things. He had thoughts of becoming an engineer like his grandfather and uncle; a veterinarian; and my personal favorite, an Imagineer for Disney! This at once excited and frustrated Kevin. His father and I counseled him to relax a bit, begin college undeclared, and see what interested him once he was there. But Kevin has always been unusually driven by purpose and direction so having too many choices (normally a great problem to have!) was very hard on him.

One day, out of the blue (if there is a stronger word for “where on EARTH did this come from?” insert it here) Kevin came home and told us he’d been talking to an Army recruiter. This was very shortly after 9/11. I say this was out of the blue because we were not a military family, and had no first-hand knowledge of what this was all about. Thinking it was nothing more than a fascination with something he hadn’t explored before, my husband and I nodded our heads with an “uh huh – that’s interesting” sort of dismissal. A few weeks later Kevin declared that he was actually seriously thinking of joining the Army. He had done his research and had chosen the Army because of the sheer number of job choices he would have. He had taken the evaluation exam and had scored so high that he literally qualified for any job that was open. He became the proverbial kid in a candy store, exploring all of his options.

In the end, Kevin decided to forego the more glamorous choices and “get his boots dirty”. He wanted to earn his way up the ranks and feel like he was making a tangible difference in defending his country. So, our beautiful son – the intelligent, sensitive boy with a future in music or whatever he wanted – joined the Infantry. You can only imagine the shock! One thing with Kevin though; we could always be 100% confident that the decisions he made were made for the right reasons, whether or not they were the ones we would have made for him. Because of the kind of young man he had become, we had no choice but to admire and trust his decision and support him all the way.

I watched with sadness and quiet pride as Kevin was mercilessly persecuted for the choice he had made, all the time holding his head high and being respectful to those who differed. At that time, Kevin attended a high school in California where joining the military was tantamount to career suicide and a breach of the unspoken but very real “Harvard-or-bust” expectation. Even faculty members belittled his decision to join the military. 

The overt patriotism of post 9/11 had died down in California and was replaced with open condescension toward the military. One prominent politician even went on record in October 2006 saying that the military was "for college dropouts with no other options." Ironically, Kevin went on to receive the largest scholarship award in his graduating class of 500 students - then began his travels around the world to experience first-hand what others could only read about in books.

For the next four years, while his friends were at Harvard and other universities around the country Kevin served two terms in the Middle East and lived, worked and played in every European country imaginable. His newest hobby became photography, and he enjoyed many photo trips to the most beautiful churches and buildings in the world. At work, he was consistently commended for extraordinary courage and honor. He has literally, personally, saved many lives – one time jumping into a moving Bradley to stop it from colliding with several people at the bottom of a hill. He has alternately had the best time of his life, meeting people from all over the world, learning about culture, people and politics – and the most horrible.

Kevin’s friends have literally died in his arms. These were people Kev lived with, worked with and socialized with. These were his brothers.

People throw around the word “sacrifice” very freely. Just stop and think about the kind of sacrifice these men and women make every single day. They live in nightmarish conditions of extreme heat, bone-snapping cold, violent windstorms, dirt, disease, and misery. They have to work hard to conjure up thoughts of comfort, home and the people they love. And they live every day with the real knowledge that their brothers and sisters in combat, and they themselves, could die at any time.

I am stunned at the capacity of these very young people to fully internalize the risks they are taking. Yes, they are brave and strong, and on some level invincible. But they are also old, and wise, and know the score. These are men and women of purpose, who have devoted their lives to something they believe is right and good and true.

No matter your political or philosophical position, the story of the American Soldier is unchanged. If your son believed a bullet was going to hit you and jumped in front of it, would the character of that young man be any different if the gun turned out to be unloaded? The men and women serving us are literally living through hell itself because they believe that a bullet is headed our way and they have voluntarily stepped between it and us. Where else in society can this type of selfless courage be found?

These are not rag-tag, dead-end kids who had no other option than to join the military. These are our sons and daughters who live and love and believe in the dream that is America. They are smart, capable, talented, ambitious, driven people who – despite all stigmas – are the very best and brightest of us. So please, honor them. Pray for them. Admire them. And see them for who and what they really are.

Cause for Celebration?

Three high school students in California were sent home this week for wearing t-shirts sporting the American flag on Cinco de Mayo. School officials were quoted as saying the shirts were "incendiary".

Since Progressivism is all about equality and fairness I thought I'd help the school board by publishing a list of dates for other countries' independence days. This way the school can enforce the rule equally and ban apparel showing any flag other than that of the country who is celebrating its national holiday on that day. Hmm, this may cause an issue since some countries share the same independence day. Maybe they can allow one flag to be shown before lunch and the other after lunch, or maybe they can alternate years to keep it fair.

America is, after all, the great melting pot. It's fair to assume that every last one of these countries is represented in some public high school or another in America. If you don't allow the American flag to be displayed on Cinco de Mayo in deference to the Mexican student population, you should naturally extend the same courtesy to all immigrant populations, shouldn't you?

Oh and by the way, don't forget to send home students wearing any national flag other than that of the U.S.A. on July 4.

01/01/09 Brunei, Haiti, Sudan
01/04/10 Myanmar
02/04/10 Sri Lanka
02/07/10 Grenada
02/11/10 Iran, Vatican City
02/12/10 Chile
02/15/10 Serbia
02/16/10 Lithuania
02/18/10 The Gambia
02/24/10 Estonia
02/25/10 Kuwait
02/27/10 Dominican Republic
03/01/10 Bosnia & Herzegovina
03/06/10 Ghana
03/12/10 Mauritius
03/20/10 Tunisia
03/21/10 Namibia
03/25/10 Greece
03/26/10 Bangladesh
04/15/10 Ireland
04/18/10 Zimbabwe
04/27/10 Sierra Leone, Togo
05/05/10 Mexico, Netherlands
05/09/10 Romania
05/14/10 Isreal
05/15/10 Paraguay
05/17/10 Norway
05/20/10 Cuba, East Timor
05/21/10 Montenegro
05/24/10 Eritrea
05/25/10 Jordan
05/26/10 Georgia, Guyana
06/01/10 Samoa
06/04/10 Tonga
06/12/10 Phillippines, Russia
06/17/10 Iceland
06/25/10 Mozambique
06/26/10 Madagascar
06/27/10 Djibouti
06/29/10 Seychelles
06/30/10 Democratic Republic of the Congo
07/01/10 Burundi, Rwanda
07/03/10 Belarus
07/05/10 Algeria, Cape Verde, Venezuela
07/06/10 Malawi
07/07/10 Solo,on Islands
07/09/10 Argentina
07/10/10 Bahamas
07/12/10 Sao Tome & Principe
07/17/10 Slovakia
07/20/10 Colombia
07/21/10 Belgium
07/26/10 Leberia, Maldives
07/28/10 Peru
07/30/10 Vanuatu
08/01/10 Benin, Switzerland
08/03/10 Niger
08/05/10 Burkina Faso
08/06/10 Bolivia, Jamaica
08/07/10 Cote D'lvoire
08/09/10 Singapore
08/10/10 Ecuador
08/11/10 Chad
08/13/10 Central African Republic
08/14/10 Pakistan
08/15/10 India, South Korea
08/17/10 Indonesia
08/19/10 Afghanistan
08/24/10 Ukraine
08/25/10 Uraguay
08/27/10 Moldova
08/31/10 Kyrgyzstan, Malaysia, Trinidad
09/01/10 Uzbekistan
09/02/10 Vietnam
09/06/10 Swaziland
09/07/10 Brazil
09/08/10 Macedonia
09/09/10 North Korea, Tajikistan
09/15/10 Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua
09/16/10 Papua New Guinea
09/19/10 Saint Kitts & Nevis
09/21/10 Armenia, Belize, Malta
09/22/10 Bulgaria, Mali
09/30/10 Abkhazia, Botswana
10/01/10 Cyprus, Nigeria
10/02/10 Guinea
10/04/10 Lesotho
10/08/10 Croatia
10/10/10 Fiji
10/18/10 Azerbaijan
10/24/10 Zambia
10/26/10 Austria
10/27/10 Turkmenistan
10/28/10 Czech Republic
10/29/10 Turkey
11/01/10 Antigua and Barbuda
11/03/10 Dominica, Panama
11/09/10 Cambodia
11/11/10 Angola, Poland
11/18/10 Latvia, Morocco
11/22/10 Lebanon
11/25/10 Suriname
11/26/10 Mongolia
11/28/10 Albania
11/30/10 Barbados, Yemen
12/01/10 Portugal
12/02/10 United Arab Emirates
12/06/10 Finland
12/09/10 Tanzania
12/11/10 South Africa
12/12/10 Kenya
12/16/10 Bahrain, Kazakhstan
12/18/10 Qatar
12/24/10 Libya
12/26/10 Slovenia

Candy Bars, Cigarettes and Church

This was a full news week. But the story that stood out to me was the "Happy Meal toy ban" issue. We've been going there for a long time now - beginning with the tobacco ban and the vilification of smokers. To have the government legislate personal behavior and morality is beyond offensive. It's tyrannical.

Naturally it was only a matter of time before fast-food was targeted. The "logic" goes like this:

1. We have a huge problem in this society - childhood obesity.
2. Childhood obesity is caused by poor eating habits.
3. Poor eating habits cost us billions in health care each year, making it "everyone's" problem.
4. Since the problem affects every American, the government must do something about it.

Therefore we will legislate eating habits and "force" people to eat more healthily.

It works for smoking, too:

1. We have a huge problem in this society - heart-and lung disease.
2. Many of these illnesses are caused by smoking.
3. Smokers cost billions in health care due to smoking-related illnesses. This impacts every American.
4. Because of the cost to society the government must step in and do something about it.

Therefore we will legislate anti-smoking behavior through bans, high taxes, higher health premiums, etc. and "force" people to quit smoking.

One can go down this road with any number of things that are controlled today by our federal government; including how much water we can use in the shower, what type of light bulbs we need to use, what type of paint we must use in our homes . . . the list goes on and on and on and on.

Can it be denied that every single one of these intrusive initiatives comes from the left? I want you to imagine for a moment what the equivalent right-leaning legislation would look like. And if anyone wishes to challenge the analogy go ahead, but I think it's pretty sound. It goes like this:

1. We have a huge problem in society - crime; theft, fraud, assault, robbery, rape, murder and the like.
2. Crime is caused by immoral behavior.
3. This immoral behavior costs our country billions of dollars each year in damages, law enforcement expenses, soaring insurance costs and so on.
4. Since crime clearly impacts every single one of us, government must step in and do something about it.

Therefore we will legislate moral behavior by forcing every citizen to attend church every Sunday.

I would be the first one in line to oppose the government forcing people by threat of fine or imprisonment to attend church every Sunday. So why are obesity and smoking legislation any less egregious?

I'll go a step further. Arguably (actual not, but I'm being generous) immorality is the "disease" from which all other societal problems come. Theoretically, if every single American followed the ten commandments to a tee, healthcare costs would plummet due to the obsolescence of fraud, malpractice insurance and frivolous lawsuits. Police forces would all but disappear. Employment law would be unnecessary. Affirmative action would go away. In fact, lawyers would become extinct. *sigh*, a person can dream . . .

The argument will be: "Not everyone who was forced to attend church would actually follow the Commandments." EXACTLY RIGHT! Just as not everyone who is denied a Happy Meal will go home and eat Kashi. Government cannot legislate behavior. It not only doesn't work, whenever and wherever it's been tried it has led to more tyranny, cruelty, megalomania and mass murder than all the religions of the world combined.

Has ANYONE read our constitution lately? Our brilliant founding fathers knew that like it or not, human nature seeks power and control. They knew that unharnessed governments inevitably lead to tyranny. That's why the constitution specifically outlines what our government cannot do. It is purely a document of limits. People call Republicans the "party of No". For some reason the Republican establishment defends against that claim as if it were a bad thing. The constitution is a "document of No". Darn right we're the party of No! That should be the party tagline, loud and proud. No more micro-managing our lives. No more legislating behavior. No more choking regulations on the nation's employers. No more crippling taxes.

If you think the constitution is obsolete, that's a different debate. But as long as we are a nation of laws - beginning with those restricting our own government - we must uphold them diligently as they are the hinge upon which our freedoms depend.

I caution my friends on the left to think beyond what they want on any given day. If you give power to this government to dictate what you eat or whether you smoke, you're giving the exact same power to the next administration - who may just want you to go to church.

Hot Topic

I have no special knowledge of science - I think I got a "C" in college Biology. So please don't mistake this blog as some sort of expert commentary on Global Warming. Oops, sorry - Climate Change.

Without any special knowledge of Geology, Astronomy, Meteorology, or any other -ology, here's where my garden variety common sense leads me.

The earth is over 2/3 ocean, right? Of the 1/3 that is land, most is uninhabitable. Of the land that is inhabitable only a fraction of that is actually populated by human beings (most estimates fall between 4 and 10 percent of the earth's surface). 

 

Now of that small number, a tiny minority constitutes "developed countries" - those who consume plastic goods, use hairspray, and drive SUV's. It seems to me that if that itty bitty speck of humanity proactively tried their best to affect the earth's ecosystem - well - I don't understand how that could be possible. Especially in the relatively short time that we've even existed, let alone been consumers of fluorocarbons and gas-guzzling vehicles. How could we possibly offset the power of all the ancient, immense forces of the universe - including the massive star at the center of our solar system that has a surface temperature of about 5,510 °C, which adheres to rhythms and seasons of its own? Again, garden-variety common sense tells me that this massive, fiery ball has a heck of a lot more to say about the temperature trends of our planet than who drives a Ford Escalade or uses Suave hairspray. 

 

I'm not saying it's impossible that we few, tiny creatures are taking on these forces of God and nature and winning; but when something defies common sense to such a staggering degree the burden of proof becomes that much higher, and I'm just not seeing it. In fact it seems that whenever someone raises these questions, rather than receiving an intelligent response they are met with vicious ad hominem attacks and immediate ejection from the public square.

Thinking through this has led me to the epiphany that it's not "saving the planet" that's the agenda of most environmentalists. If it were, reaction to the recent debunking of the global warming data would have been met with celebration in the streets: "This is the best possible news! After all the frightening predictions it turns out that industrialized nations are in fact not destroying the planet!" They'd get to work filling children's heads with hope and inspiration instead of fear and dread. The fact that these groups are willfully ignoring the data and doubling down with religious fervor tells me it's about something else entirely. Whether it's that people need something to believe in and feel pious about, or that Eco-business has just become too big to fail, I don't know. What I do know is that truth nearly always (save quantum mechanics) aligns with good common sense. If it doesn't, the rational response is to question the narrative.

Perhaps Carl Sagan said it best:

"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. it is simply too painful to acknowledge - even to ourselves - that we've been so credulous. So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the new bamboozles rise."

History really does seem to repeat itself, doesn't it?